How To Raise Your Children According To The Bible (Part 3)

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How To Raise Your Children According To The Bible (Part 3)

Proverbs 22:6

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Proverbs 22:15

“Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”

Ephesians 6:1-4

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

Disclaimer: “The words of this devotional are not intended to serve as a to do manual nor a step by step child rearing manual. The information contained below is NOT guaranteed to work on all children. Each parent must consult with one another in unity and understand their child’s unique personality and interweave their principles into a manner that the child understands. Not everyone will agree with these principles but the bible is the final authority and what I follow.”

There are many different things that parents must understand before they attempt to embark into the realm of parentage. I will attempt to show things that are proven successes and things that are failures. Join us as we address How To Raise Your Children According To The Bible.

III. Exalt Adherence

This is something that many parents obviously forget when it comes to child rearing especially more in this generation. Giving praise to children for doing the right things makes your job easier and encourages them to engage in correct behavior. Without the very necessary tool, children will do what feels right to them and fight against you. In the out of control scenario yesterday we saw that the children resorted to infantile tactics to get what they wanted. Crying and playing the “helpless” game in order to get parents to pay attention to them. Today we will discuss the importance of praise and positive reinforcement in the lives of children while training them to follow the rules. 

Ephesians 6:1-4

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

I. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right” – I almost want to say “DUH” because children know that this is the right thing to do. I think most children have been motivated to do so. Listen, a child will not choose to follow a parent unless they have been made to do so. There are many things that parents can do to ensure that the child wants to follow the parent. There are three approaches to utilize:

  1. Autocratic – This is a direct and one way approach. “You will do what I say because I am your parent and what I say goes.” This approach has it’s pros and cons:
    • Pros 
      • Gets the child’s attentions immediately
      • Allows parents to offer stern correction 
      • This approach usually gets immediate results 
    • Cons
      • If used too much, the child will “tune out” this approach 
      • Could make the child see you as unapproachable 
      • Could scare the child if their personality is very sensitive 
  2. Democratic – This is a passive non direct approach. “Why don’t we think about doing it this way? Can we do this?” This approach has it’s pros and cons:
    • Pros
      • Allows the child to freely interact with the parents
      • Gives the child a friendly face to interact with in matters
      • Opens the encounter up for the child to voice opinion
    • Cons
      • Child has too much freedom and may be too opinionated
      • Could make child not respect the authority of the parents
      • This approach focuses on how the child feels instead of the best interest
  3. Combination Of The Two – This approach gives the child a platform to voice their opinion but still reminds the child that the parent is in charge and all decisions are the responsibility of the parents. “Listen, we will listen to your input and consider it in our decision but we have to make the best decision for the family and everyone’s benefit.” This approach has it’s pro and cons:
    • Pros
      • Enforces authority and shows accountability
      • Allows the child to feel loved because of the openness and structure
      • Presents balance 
    • Cons
      • The child could say that it’s unfair
      • The child could feel left out if there are multiple children that get their requests validated
      • The child may feel like the parents are wishy washy. 

Here are a few ways that parents can offer praise to children in a positive and contrastive way:

  1. Focus On The Effort – If the child did the right thing but it did not end end the way that the child anticipated, focus on the sort put into it. Make sure that the child knows that you support their hard work. If your child put hard work into a project and don’t win, reward their effort and hard work. 
  2. Focus On The Effect – If the child did the right thing but it did not turn out the way that they wanted but their efforts encouraged and influenced another person to become inspired and motivated to do good this is a win. If your child tries out for a part in a play but doesn’t make it but your child encourages another to try out and they make it, this is a win. 
  3. Focus On The End Result – Whether or not the child has achieved a favorable end result the parent must comfort the child. 

Praising the child for their effort, effect and end results is very important. What it all boils down to is having the child feel supported. If the child feels supported then you will have a powerful ally indoor home that will follow you into the depths of the abyss. In tomorrow’s devotional, we will talk about the next tool that will help you raise your child for the Lord. Join us again as we address real life issues with biblical answers on Worship With Willie.

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