How To Raise Your Children According To The Bible (Part 1)
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Disclaimer: “The words of this devotional are not intended to serve as a to do manual nor a step by step child rearing manual. The information contained below is NOT guaranteed to work on all children. Each parent must consult with one another in unity and understand their child’s unique personality and interweave their principles into a manner that the child understands. Not everyone will agree with these principles but the bible is the final authority and what I follow.”
There are many different things that parents must understand before they attempt to embark into the realm of parentage. I will attempt to show things that are proven successes and things that are failures. Join us as we address How To Raise Your Children According To The Bible.
I. Establish Authority
In our text we read Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” There are many things in this text that scream authority:
I. “Train up a child” – In this word we can extrapolate that there is:
- A Subject Matter Expert – One who has years experience & proven success.
- A Trainer – One who imparts wisdom to those that have need of knowledge.
- A Student – One who makes themselves available to receive knowledge.
The trainer sets the example and enforces the example for the children to follow. The trainer must:
- Believe In The System – A trainer cannot successfully teach students if they don’t believe in the subject that they are attempting to teach. If you doubt it’s results, this will be amplified in your students.
- Believe In The Strategy – A trainer cannot doubt the methodology in which they have been given because they will see it as a waste of time if they do this. For instance, if an automotive repair technician believes in a specific method of making repairs that isn’t accepted by the authorities that certified him/her then this will cause confusion & frustration. They will say, “this is a waste of time” because “They” know a better way.
- Believe They Will Have Success – A trainer must believe that they will have success from the lessons that they teach their students. If a trainer believes that they will fail, then what is the use of teaching?
II. “In the way he should go” – In this word we can extrapolate that there is:
- A Decision To Make – This can be right or wrong. The trainer has already seen these things and instructs the child of what to be aware of along their life’s journey.
- A Destination At Stake – The results of decisions can lead children to a good or bad destination.
- A Disaster To Avoid – The good way brings blessings and life, the bad way brings curses and death. Children must be taught these things.
All of this comes down to authority. Before the parents can begin rearing children they must agree to be co-equal authorities. If the authority hasn’t been established in the home, then it will make one parent the best friend and the other parent the worse friend. This will eventually create dissension in the home because the children will goto the less strict of the two parents for permission and avoid the stricter parent. This makes the parents fight each other and create arguments which gives the children authority. Has this happened in your home? I know it has in mine a few times! Here are some helpful ways to avoid this trap:
If the children asks a favor or permission for something of the friendly parent and not the other parent, consider these tools:
A. “Let me follow up with your father/mother before we make a decision”
B. “What did your father/mother say? (Let them answer) Okay lets go together to verify.”
C. “It is important that your father/mother and I agree together before we make any decisions.”
This approach allows the child to see that both parents are the authorities and that one parent isn’t more important than the other. If the child presses the issue for one parent to make a decision, remind them that it took two parent to make a child and it is wise for two parents to make a decision for a child. Unless both parents establish that they are the authority in the home, one will have great respect while the other will become a doormat.
This authority does not mean that you have to be mean. In the three responses above, there was no indication of disrespect or unkindness. Parents can be the authority without being a complete tyrant. Children know that the parents are in charge because they came to you and asked or requested permission. So see this as them honoring your authority but you will still have to ensure that it is kept. They will do everything in their power to undermine your authority. In tomorrow’s devotional we will talk about accountability being the right hand of authority in child rearing. Join us again as we address real life issues with biblical answers on Worship With Willie.