How To Destroy A Family in 5 Days! (Day 5)

How To Destroy A Family in 5 Days! (Day 5)

Genesis 3:1-23

Ever since the creation of mankind, the adversary has planned to destroy it and the family. However, I think that the adversary receives too much credit for happenings that weren’t under his power. We do that all by ourselves.

This week we will see how a family can be destroyed in 5 days time. Join us as we learn how to infiltrate the familial defensive lines and destroy the family in 5 days.

Day Number 5

While you’re out at a grocery store with your family, your children begin act out of their normal reserved character and display wild behavior. You politely remind your children that their behavior isn’t what you expect and that there will be consequences for not observing the boundaries of public behavior. Then you notice that your children begin to act out more after you had just had a conversation with them. How do you handle this?

You are at home and your spouse has had a very bad day at work and begins to migrate their stressful onto you. You politely remind them that you are there for them but you don’t appreciate their aggression when you’ve done nothing wrong. They apologize but a few minutes later they blame you again for an issue that happened at work and focus their aggression onto you. What do you do?

A co-worker is known to tell dirty jokes that frequently transitions into inappropriate comments about the opposite sex and other races of people in the workplace. Today, you are not in the mood to hear this person’s comments and you politely ask them to please take it somewhere else. This person begins to focus their attacks onto you now. You again ask them to not make these comments because they are NOT appropriate for the workplace. They walk away but you hear them down the hall making more jokes at what you perceive to be your family. What do you do? 

Obviously, there are a few things that you can say and interject in all three of these vignettes. However, the most important thing to remember is that you are a Christian! I know sometimes we kinda forget our Christianity and let our mouth drive our behavior before our brain has the opportunity to pump the brakes and stop us. Here are a few tips to help you regain traction and possibly restore a boundary or relationship. 

  1. I Need To Make Myself Clear
    • When we assume people know our boundaries we do ourselves a great injustice. We must communicate those boundaries clearly and responsibly. If you have not communicated the boundary how can it be kept? Ask yourself this question: 
    • Can a blind man in a dark room with now windows understand my boundaries? If they answer is no them we have probably not communicated this to others. 
  2. I Need To Remind Others That They Are Getting Close To My Boundary Line
    • I remember once my neighbors kids were playing on my neighbor’s grass and pretty much tearing up their yard. When they got too close to mind, I walked outside and reminded them that they were too close to my yard. I politely asked them to kindly proceed back to their own yard. 
      • This let them know that I was aware of their proximity to my boundary and that I was watching. 
      • This also made them aware that I didn’t want them to cross my boundary without permission. 
    • It is not wrong to let others know when they are about to cross your boundary. An easy way to inform them of this is to say something like: “I generally don’t like it when ________.” My personal favorite is “It would mean a lot to me if you wouldn’t ________ because that really bothers me.” 
  3. I Need To Let Others Know When They Have Crossed My Boundaries
    • This sometimes is an awkward because not many people care for drama or confrontations.However, when someone has violated your personal convictions, it is not wrong to alert then that they have done so. 
      • I remember once a co-worker of mine was a habitual offender of crossing my boundaries. Each time I was not slack in informing them when they did. Eventually, they got tired of hearing me tell them so they changed their behavior. 
  4. I Need To Ensure That My Desire To Not Be Crossed Does Not Destroy A Relationship
    • Often, we desire to have people avoid crossing us so much that we will cross them so that they will not cross us. 
      • I remember once I met a young man that constantly interrupted me as I spoke, which is my pet-peeve, so I interrupted him to let him know that he had done the same to me. I didn’t really care about his feelings at the time, because he violated mine. He flared back and informed me that I disrespected him but cutting him off. I apologized and he reciprocated and all was well. Now each time we come into contact with each other and speak we take great measures to ensure we don’t violate another’s boundaries. 
      • In your life, I recommend that you don’t have an extreme need to correct others so quickly, for hurting you, that you actually violate their boundaries. 

Relationship are very difficult, sometimes they are downright time consuming and draining! However, a relationship worth starting is a relationship with maintaining! Just because someone does not act in a way that you expect them to act or in a manner that allows you to be comfortable does not mean that they deserve to be disrespected. In our next devotional series, we will talk about how we can grow as families and how our families can drain us if our priorities aren’t set. Join us again as we address real life issues with biblical answers on Worship With Willie. 

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