The 5 Love Languages (Words Of Affirmation) (Part 2)
I Corinthians 13:4-7 KJV
“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”
The bible tells us that Charity, a high form of love, is long suffering, kind and vaunteth not itself, nor is puffed up. All of those words simply mean:
a. Suffereth Long – Another word or patient
b. Kind – Displays grace and tact to others amid and/or despite how they feel themselves
c. Envieth Not – Does not compare the things of others to the things that they lack
d. Vaunteth Not Itself – Does not boast or talk about what they have or how they love; while comparing themselves to the absence of the aforementioned qualities of others. Showing off!
e. Puffed Up – Literally means swollen with things such as but not limited to : knowledge, pride, attitudes, discontent, insecurity and ignorance. This quality means that they come across as a know it all!
What does this mean? It means that these qualities can actually do harm to the loving nature of the soul that is a “Words of Affirmation” lover.
Words Of Affirmation (WOA)
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.
This type of love giver and receiver thrives on compliments, kindness, encouragement, positivity and heart-felt words. We also see that this type of person can be crushed and destroyed by criticism that isn’t constructive, unkindness or unthoughtful and cynical behavior or speech, people that demand encouragement but seldom reciprocate, terminally negative people and those that speak an abundance of words but seldom show their heart. Instead they speak about how it has been hurt. These polar opposite qualities will most certainly cause issues with a WOA lover. This will make this type of lover feel as if he/she is alone and their love meter is at half of a tank. They are usually positive upbeat and encouraging to others, so when they tire of giving compliments, it is absolutely vital that they feel this type of love. You can send this type of person to cloud 87 by kindness and a heartfelt compliment. I do caution that this type of lover can sense when the love that they need has been forced, manufactured or is not sincere. Make sure that your compliments and kindness seeks no reward and is done out of love because he/she will sense it and it could cause distance.
The bible tells us how we should love this type of person and what things we shouldn’t do if we truly want to fulfill this person’s needs. Here are a few pointers to loving a (WOA) person or at least reaching them:
4. Empathy “…seeketh not her own…” The WOA person meets or sees the needs for comfort in another person, they feel a need to meet that need. The WOA person feels a responsibility to meet their need with kind words. The WOA person perceives others that aren’t in tune to the needs of others as rude or insensitive. WOA people expect others to be sensitive to their need for kind words and/or compliments. This can be a self-destructive issue because others may not be as sensitive to them and may ignore their needs. Here are some ways to engage the WOA person with Empathy:
“It must be really hard that you …..” “I can’t imagine …..”
5. Respect & Admiration – “…thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity…”
The WOA person can benefit greatly from this area. A well timed compliment can light the fires of love in this type of person. Respect is huge in this area. The WOA person can be deeply hurt when a person is harsh with their words, body language and facial expressions. Words spoken to this person are a focal point but the way and manner in which the words are delivered are just as important. Would you want to receive a pizza from your delivery person if they drove a roach infested vehicle or had dirty hands? Probably not! So when a person addresses a WOA person with an attitude asking a question it is particularly hurtful.
The WOA person can feel loved, respected and admired greatly when addressed in a friendly voice, non condescending and non treating voice. Usually, WOA people are sensitive in nature so any signs of attitudes or anger bother them more than the offensive or offending person. Here are some tips to addressing a WOA person:
“That was a really good job”
“I really liked”
“I appreciate all your hard work”
God made all people different and we needs to use these differences to reach others for His glory. WOA people can be best used as counsellors, teachers, coaches, clergymen, musicians and managers.
In the ministry WOA people will thrive as: Greeters, Ushers, Teachers, Preachers, Musicians and speakers.
The WOA person should consider other options when it comes to: Law Enforcement, Military, Parking Enforcement, Legal Careers and/or high stress careers.
I hope that you have learned about this type of lover and how to both address and engage them. In tomorrows devotionals we will speak about the next area which is touch. Join us again as we address real life issues with biblical answers on Worship With Willie.