Love, What Is It? (Part 8)


Love. What is it? (Part 8)

Song Of Solomon 4:1-16

Usually when a person says I love you to another, it can mean anything from “I like you” to “I enjoy your company”. It is not so much the word as the meaning behind the word. In the bible, we read of many occasions that the word love is used but all too often we don’t really understand what it means. The fact of the matter is that we use this word so loosely today that we have lost the true meaning of love. Join us as we answer the question: Love, What is it?

I am not a Greek scholar nor do I profess to be one of the English language either, but I will share some words from the Greek to better illuminate this subject.

In our text we see a recap of the playful type of love but we also see the development of another type of love that has began to brew upon our two lovers like fresh coffee. We see the evidence of the playful flirty type of love called LUDUS, which we covered in part 3 of this series. This LUDUS love is what we find in the beginnings of relationships and it breeds interest and infatuation. When this type of love matures it graduates into our featured type of love today. Join us as we explore the most dangerous, misunderstood and misused type of love today.

It’s called: EROS Love – This type of love is considered a strong sexual passion & desire. This EROS love is what we tend to think of when we see the word erotic.

What does this word really mean? We really don’t have a lot of passages that go into great detail about erotic love but I believe that we can make inferences off of scripture that we do.

  1. EROS Love Seeks Separation (S.O.S. 4:6-9)

LUDUS love likes to be in the public eye but kept a secret while EROS love seeks to hide from the public but somehow shows up on one’s face later. The desire to separate from others is a precursor to a very intimate and deeper love that is to come. When we begin to separate ourselves from everyone else and go into a secret place to meet the one who loves us, we will begin to experience a greater connection. How often do you separate yourselves from the world and all of its distractions for alone time with Jesus?


  1. EROS Love Sees The Secret Places Of Others (S.O.S. 4:10-12)

Once one begins to separate they will begin to notice the things about that special person that others don’t have the privilege to see. They begin to unwrap all the closely guarded secrets that were once guarded but because of complete trust and comfort they are allowed access. They are drawn in closer by the sweet fragrance, like a gentle perfume, on the one that their soul loves. Then as they begin to draw nearer, the sweet fragrance begins to go from a sweet smell into a very refined banquet of delightful scents. As they draw closer to the one whom their soul loves, they begin to see things more clearly and they long for a stronger knowledge of the special person.

When we allow ourselves to completely trust Christ and give Him full access into our lives, even the secret parts that we don’t even like, He gives us the assurance that He is not going to “Leave us nor forsake us”. Then as we draw nearer to Jesus Christ He becomes sweeter and sweeter as we enjoy His presence. Once in His presence we feel safe and can begin to take off the robes of insecurity and discomfort and let Him see us as we are and we see Him in His glory. As we begin to get closer to Him the presence matures from sweet to a defined peace and assurance that He loves me for who and what I am. As we begin to draw closer to Him we no longer see Him as a stranger that inhabits our space but we begin to see Him as the one that we desire. How do you see Him? Is His presence strange to you? Is His presence welcomed daily? Has His presence become essential in your life and family?

  1. EROS Love Seeks To Supply & Satisfy The Needs Of Others (S.O.S. 4:16)

We see that this verse tells us that this type of love seeks to make others happy by giving freely and liberally. They see themselves as a vessel to fulfill the needs of others. They don’t really take a great deal of pleasure in making themselves happy because they know that its all about the one for which their soul longs.

When we open every door in our heart, mind and soul to Jesus our savior He enters in and as He fills us with His joy, peace and sense of purpose. Then we seek to give back to Him more and more. The more we open up to The Lord Jesus and The Blessed Holy Spirit the more we will want to sing His praises and reach out and touch the lives of others. As we gain a more intimate knowledge of Him, the more we will want to satisfy the needs of others. Do you satisfy the needs of others as the Spirit has filled you?

Why is this type of love so misunderstood?

Today we see that people seek to consummate something that isn’t even there. The norm today is for people to meet, get goggley eyed and then have sex. That isn’t the way that God designed this process. Sex without love is like a car without an engine. Sure it may feel good inside but it isn’t going anywhere and will eventually fall apart. I am convinced that many marriages today exist because of physical attraction only. So when the looks fade they leave for another. This behavior has led the world to adopt a shallow sense of beauty. They see it more as something that can be seen instead of the priceless beauty that isn’t always seen. Now don’t get me wrong, looks are important. You will be with them from the rest of your life. So if you don’t like something, I suggest you reevaluate your desires honestly and seek the Lord’s will. Is EROS love just cheap sexual thrills at the expense of another to you?

Why is this type of love so misused?

People today have used physical touch and erotic contact as a measuring stick to determine how much another person loves. Some people will actually use this type of love as a gold chip to force another to do things. Most worldly wives today at the expense of their husbands commonly employ this tactic. They will withhold this type of love purposely as an act of punishment or revenge to “bring their man into submission” to her and only her. This tactic may work on a small percentage of men but it will fail miserably 99.9 percentage of the time. People use this love to bully and intimidate others. What about you? How do you use this love? Do you freely share this love with your spouse or do they question your love for them in this area?

Why is this type of love dangerous?

The reason why is because God gave every single man a gift that only the EROS love of a woman, that’s his wife, can accept. When she rejects this gift, she is unconsciously saying, “Your gift is not good enough for me” or “get away from me, you’re bothering me”. When a man rejects a woman’s desire to accept his gift the message comes out as “I don’t like you and you’re not good enough” or “Someone else is better than you and I am going to focus on him or her instead of you”. This type of love has the greatest probability to cause harm or personal injury to others. The closer the love bond, the greater the feeling of jealousy will arise. Usually, this type of bond causes the most jealousy because we totally make ourselves vulnerable to another. So when we feel betrayed the pain is overwhelming and it screams “YOU WEREN’T GOOD ENOUGH”. People will usually lash out in an attempt to cause the other pain as well. As Christians, we should learn and recognize the needs of our spouses and do all we can to meet them whatever it takes.

You never hear of someone saying “My brother cheated on me with another brother or a sister”. Nor do you hear this “My God left me for another God”. Aren’t you glad that He has staying, keeping and enduring power? Have you tapped in? In next week’s devotional, we will wrap up the love series and conclude by combining all the types of love into real life profiles. We will then give you an opportunity to find your love language so that you better understand the question Love, What Is It. Join us again as we address real life issues with biblical answers on Worship With Willie.





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