Love, What Is It? (Part 3)
In our text today we see that the bible is showing us a different type of love. In the ancient Greek culture a multitude of words were used to describe feelings, thoughts and emotions. The area of love has it’s own Greek vocabulary and is phonetically full of expression. The text shows the youthful and playful love between a young man and a young woman. This flirty type of expression between King Solomon and his young lover leads us to the next Greek word for love.
It’s called: LUDUS Love – This type of love is considered a playful love, which is referred to as affection. It is commonly seen when in the early stages of a relationship.
What does this word really mean? I believe that we see it mentioned here in this passage “The voice of my beloved! behold, he cometh leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills. My beloved is like a roe or a young hart: behold, he standeth behind our wall, he looketh forth at the windows, shewing himself through the lattice. My beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land; The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.” Song Of Solomon 2:8-13 KJV. Without turning this devotional into a romance novel or a self help book, I want to explain why some people have chemistry while others don’t.
- LUDUS Love Compliments
As we look at the entire second chapter of The Song of Solomon, we see it oozing with typology of The Lord Jesus Christ. I would like everyone to keep this in mind when we explain what the bible says in the area of LUDUS love. So when a young man, let’s say, compliments a young lady on her appearance this can deposit into the love bank. Most ladies go through a great deal to look presentable so when a young man compliments their efforts this begins to activate the “LIKE” emotion. The young lady will begin to go out of her way to seek more compliments from her young suitor. She will dress in a manner that is pleasing to the one that makes her feel good about herself. Meanwhile, young man will begin adopt gentlemanly qualities and increase in his compliments. Compliments in a relationship build that feeling of “you notice me” and “you like me”. Compliments are the mortar that builds a strong emotional connection in a relationship, without them, you will feel disconnected and unloved in your relationship. It will feel as though you, and your partner, are roommates legally authorized to live in the same building. Compliments need to do a few things:
- Be Genuine – If you make compliments to someone, especially in a romantic setting, and your delivery of the compliment is outside of your natural character then the compliment can come across as fake or forced. For instance, I once dated a very shy lady that loved to read romantic books. I knew this but I couldn’t stand the thought of sitting down on a nice summer’s day to read. However, because I wanted to make this lady happy, I sat next to her and asked if she would read to me as we spent time together. At first it was really nice and I thanked her for allowing me to enjoy this with her but it then the distractions came. A group of young men began to play flag football, which was my favorite sport at the time, and I found myself looking at her but listening to the boys play. I then found myself looking at them and half listening to her. The issue was that I tried to be complimentary without being connected. I came across as fake and uncaring. In our quests to compliment another, make sure that it’s something that’s important to them and can keep your interest as well. Oh, yeah! The young lady was so nice that she left me there to watch the game all by myself. She even left her favorite book with me on my head so that I wouldn’t get hurt when I played flag football.
- Be Observant – When you compliment a person about a special feature, talent, ability or skill make sure that they actually have that trait that you wish to compliment. We see in verse 13 that he complimented her because she had a good smell. It would probably not be the best time to use this compliment if your partner has just finished playing a game or at the end of a hot day. This may seem manufactured and thoughtless or it could come across as insulting to them. If your male friend has just finished a good game compliment his achievement. If it was a bad game, remind him of his good games. Tell him that because this one game wasn’t like the ones in the past, it doesn’t mean that he is a horrible player. Even though he probably was for that one day. Simply put, if you see something that you admire about your partner tell them.
- Be Able to leave an impression – When you’ve shared a compliment it should leave an impression in their minds. It should make a connection to that moment in time so that it’s not easily forgotten. I remember once, I gave a compliment to a young musician whom I had given private instrumental lessons. I started the lesson with compliments and ended the lesson with compliments. What made the compliment extra special to this young musician was that I used the word “Stellar” to describe the progress. So every time this musician heard the word “Stellar” what do you think happened in their mind? They thought about their music teacher and the smile on my face as I complimented them. How do you think this affected their desire to excel? This young musician actually graduated high school and joined my military unit with me and became one of my best subordinates. Why? The power of a compliment. The bible says “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver” Proverbs 25:11 KJV.
There is extreme power in compliments to another person in the pre romantic stage of love. A compliment at the right time and in the right context builds an incredibly strong bond between partners. However, we live in a day where many people are more interested in getting compliments than giving them. This type of desire is both selfish and destructive. In tomorrow’s devotional we will cover part two of LUDUS love and further explain romantic and flirty chemistry. Join us again as we address real life issues with biblical answers on Worship With Willie.